I used to think I wanted to be like you.

I used to think I wanted to be like you,

fearless and confident in saying what you said,
or at ease with talking to anyone you had just met
or always having just the right answer;

fearless and brave in death-defying moments,
or at ease with new situations,
or always knowing just how to handle whatever came up;

fearless in facing troubled times,
or at ease with the uncomfortable, the scary, the dangerous,
or always being in control.

I used to think I wanted to be like you.

Yet this morning I sat sewing, creating,
playing with colour and shape and thread and stitch
and I was completely myself.

I didn't want to be anywhere else,
I didn't want to do anything different,
I was completely at ease with things as they were.

I used to think I wanted to be like you,
but now I want to be completely myself,
quiet, and peaceful and creating beauty.

© 22 October 2012