Rescued by Thich Nhat Hanh

A roller-coaster ride of a day.

I have received feedback that
violently hurled me from
where I thought I was
into a maelstrom of
uncertainty, doubt and despair.
Trying to recover my footing
I vacillate between
'I can't do this'
'it's not as bad as it seems' and
'everything will be ok'.
Moment by moment I hop
from one thought to the next
like a fidgety flea that cannot settle.
What can I do to recover peace?

Breathe,
and accept the uncertainty.
Easy to say,
harder to practice.
I struggle on through,
step by step,
trying to come to terms
with this new situation.
I talk with a friend
who is reassuring and calm.
I acknowledge hiding my head in sand
will not solve the problem.

The mindfulness app on my phone sounds,
providing a breathing space.
I smile gratefully at the inanimate object
for reminding me there is more than just thoughts.
And then I read,
'If we do not have peace and joy right now,
when will we have peace and joy -
tomorrow, or after tomorrow?
What is preventing us from being happy
right now?'
And I breathe deeply
and smile at my foolishness,
in believing the thoughts.

© 5 September 2012