I'm grateful

Feel like going home
hibernating under the duvet and
not coming out.
Feel like hiding and
whispering gently
‘make it all go away!
Make it all stop!’

Feeling like pushing
the rewind button
take me back to a time
I felt happy and joyful
instead of sad and disheartened.

Yet this was not so long ago
it’s just this descending grey blanket
dulls everything.
Yesterday, I was happy!
Today I was happy!

This I forget
in the midst of the gloom.
I sit in my car and cry
and write and reflect
what this feels like
while the dripping rain outside
reflects my inner turmoil.

I sit in my car and listen
to the heavy raindrops
beating on metal and I’m
warm and dry inside.
And I’m grateful
I’m grateful!

I’m grateful to know
these emotions will pass
will blow over
like a strong gust
sweeping rainclouds away.

I’m grateful to know
I don’t have to believe
the inner words of
doom and gloom
anger and frustration.

I’m grateful to know
I don’t mind getting wet
because I have a home to go to
people who love me and
people to love.

I’m grateful to know
I can let the storms rage
and clouds pass over the sun
because they are all moving
all changing
not static.
And soon they will be gone.

© 4 Jul 16

To a world full of chaos

A new dawn, a new day
all is quiet within
the soft shuffle of a
quiet Sunday morning
yet in this moment
in a world full of turbulence
anger, hate, despair, disbelief
there is much need of
mindfulness and steadiness
within and without.

To a world full of chaos
I offer
my whole-hearted presence
not choosing who or what
is more or less worthy
not choosing to be
limited or partial
I choose to be full
fully present
fully aware
fully loving.

© 17 Jul 16

The only word

Nothing.
I have written many words
all of them saying nothing.
I cannot find the words
to express what is present
what is now.
The beauty of this moment
cannot be described
with mundane words.
I search for new ones
unused ones
to describe the indescribable.
I do not need words to know
the beauty of the sunset
only eyes that see.
I do not need words to depict
the glory of this sun-filled morning
only senses that feel.

The only word
is yes!

© 12 Jul 16

I listen to the wind

I listen to the wind
it has no sound.
I listen to the silence
it has no end
uncontained.
Only the objects the wind meets
butts up against
contain the sound.
Only the senses
organs of perception
restrict what we know.
I listen to the wind
it has no sound.
What am I hearing?
The containers within which
the uncontained rests
fills
dwells.
I listen to the silence
it has no end.

© 11 Jul 16

We stand as a forest

I stand as a tree
we stand as a forest
our feet taking root
taking nourishment from the earth.
We stand together
yet not too close
not blocking out
each other’s light.
The earth holds us
cradles and supports us
as a bountiful mother.

I kneel on the earth
face and forearms close to the soil
breathing out my pain and anxiety
let the earth melt away
my sadness.
I stay like a stone
until I feel steady
until I feel strength
from the supporting earth.

I lift my head up
towards the light
feeling warmth
being fed
feeling cared for by the
strong, shining sun.

The earth holds us
cradles and supports us
as a bountiful mother.
I stand as a tree
we stand as a forest
finding strength in each other.

© 4 Jul 16

White birds flying

The ball has been dropped.
As millions of shards
crash to the ground
spinning in all directions
a lone white bird rises
from the chaos and debris
to soar above
the billowing dust cloud.

Up in calm stillness
it calls for its mate and
hears a welcome reply.
Two white birds soar
dance together
over the wreckage below.

Out of the chaos
more white birds rise
one, two, many
recognising and answering the call
flying, swooping together
they become a wave
a cloud, an ocean.

From above
the vastness of this
murmuration blots out
the debris below
envelopes the dust cloud
in a sea of white.

Descending, the white birds
pick through the shards
of brokenness
carefully
moving aside each piece
searching for fresh green shoots
that inevitably lie beneath
building a new home
a safe home
together.

© 5 Jul 16

Peel away!

There are layers to peel away
to unlock the kernel hidden beneath.
Let hand connect directly
with heart without
interference from the mind.
Peel away, peel away!
Only when the dross has been discarded
will the jewel beneath be revealed.
Patience my friend!
Remove the heavy-handedness
of eager hurry
so as not to blemish the hidden jewel.
Only heart knows
when all layers are removed.
The sculptor chips away
at the block of stone to discover
the sculpture that already lies
at its heart.
Peel away, peel away!
Only when the dross has been discarded
will the jewel beneath be revealed.

© 18 Jun 16