I'm grateful

Feel like going home
hibernating under the duvet and
not coming out.
Feel like hiding and
whispering gently
‘make it all go away!
Make it all stop!’

Feeling like pushing
the rewind button
take me back to a time
I felt happy and joyful
instead of sad and disheartened.

Yet this was not so long ago
it’s just this descending grey blanket
dulls everything.
Yesterday, I was happy!
Today I was happy!

This I forget
in the midst of the gloom.
I sit in my car and cry
and write and reflect
what this feels like
while the dripping rain outside
reflects my inner turmoil.

I sit in my car and listen
to the heavy raindrops
beating on metal and I’m
warm and dry inside.
And I’m grateful
I’m grateful!

I’m grateful to know
these emotions will pass
will blow over
like a strong gust
sweeping rainclouds away.

I’m grateful to know
I don’t have to believe
the inner words of
doom and gloom
anger and frustration.

I’m grateful to know
I don’t mind getting wet
because I have a home to go to
people who love me and
people to love.

I’m grateful to know
I can let the storms rage
and clouds pass over the sun
because they are all moving
all changing
not static.
And soon they will be gone.

© 4 Jul 16