November cold

The sharpness of the air
that took my breath away

The cold in the night that makes
my nose run and my teeth chatter

The frosty November evening
that has frozen my windows closed

has painted a pastel swirl of clarity
across the morning sky

has decorated the remaining autumn leaves
with a coat of frosted icing

has bedazzled the evening sky with a
gorgeous display of colour


has produced a plethora of
diamonds in the sky


if only one looks up.

©  30 November 2012

Fear of Death

Fear of losing
what is not mine,
but I take to be mine.
Losing, family, losing friends.
But what is the loss?

Fear of death is to deny the continuation of life,
the impermanent, ever-changing circle
through which we dance.
Death is all around us and within us.
Death is in these logs
that thus provide heat and light.
Death is in the falling autumn leaves,
the compost smell of rotting vegetation
that in the closing down and dying
is preparing for a new spring.
Death is in me, created anew
by the characteristics of my mother,
the ideals and beliefs passed on from my ancestors.
Death is in the greying hair and wrinkling skin
that brings with it a different perspective on life,
acceptance, peacefulness and quiet joy.

Fear of death is to deny the continuation of life,
to try and keep in one's hand
the grains of sand trickling through the fingers,
to try and contain the ever-flowing
mass of water that gurgles on its way,
to try and capture a scene of loveliness
that the new moon displays
on a clear, frost-filled night.
To let go
instead of holding on,
to let them trickle, gurgle and float on by,
is freedom,
is an acceptance of the continuation of life.
Is life.

© 18 November 2012

De-comma-ing

Who would have thought,
there can be too many commas in a thesis,
but so my proof-reader tells me.

And now I am required
to declutter my writing,
as commas have appeared
like confetti
and liberally sprinkled themselves
throughout my work,
I am sure I did not put them all there!

The rules I thought I was following
appear not to be rules at all,
and those rules I now have,
printed out by my side,
need to be checked constantly
as I reread my work
and delete the squirming tadpoles.

Such a small, little mark,
yet so significant
and such a trouble-maker right now!

© 9 November 2012

Finding myself in water

The water became our adventure,
showed me myself
and how to be free.

We walked on the weir and
my toes enjoyed the swim as
boots protested they were not,
after all, waterproof.
The sharp shock of coldness
brought me to reality,
brought me back to myself,
infinite being of boundless love
in a human form.

And where the water danced
over cobbles,
its speed unbalanced me
and convinced me I was moving.
Standing,
looking,
looking deeper,

I was the wave that knew
she was water also,
and did not need to be carried along
by the movement of the world.
Beneath the fast flowing water
I was the leaf that remained steadfast.

Where is the stillness
in the apparently unceasing flow?
By my side stood my friend,
who had led me on this adventure.
And she knows,
and I know,
the stillness within.

There is a delight in the
gorgeous palette of autumn,
the sharpness of cold air
not quite warmed by the gentle sun,
the call and laughter
of water, as it dances on its way.

But the stillness within
comes from knowing ourselves as
infinite beings of boundless love.

© 1 November 2012

Beyond words

Beyond words,

beyond the to-do list,
and things to be achieved,
beyond mind.

Beyond words
yet
searching for a means to describe
the indescribable.
This vast space,
this knowing,
this perfect moment stretching to infinity.

Beyond doubt,
beyond fear and insecurity,
beyond illusion.
A place of no location,
not fixed, yet tangible.

Any description is inadequate.
Words disappear
like bubbles bursting
on the playful stream;
as if one golden beech leaf
can pronounce the wealth of
autumn colour.

Beyond words.

This company,
this peace,
this ...
this is it.

© 30 October 2012