Thursday, 10 May 2012

Are you sure?

Are you sure? What a great question! One that Thay uses often, suggesting that we use it to check in on our perceptions and thoughts. Is what we firmly believe really so certain?
Sometimes it's a really difficult one, especially when you're actually full of doubt. Recently I have been struggling with a chapter I'm writing, or rather rewriting. Although I now have a sense of what it should look like, it's felt like a real uphill struggle the last few days to keep on task, even when I know I have a deadline. I posted the dilemma on facebook today, supposedly asking for help, but actually making a kind of public declaration that I have been prevaricating and it can go on no longer. And it helped! A friend reminded me of FOFBOC as a starting point (feet on floor, bum on chair). The problem with sitting at a computer is there are so many juicy distractions at your very fingertips. But having formulated one section with nearly 2,000 words I do feel as if progress is being made, the view is not quite so treacherously uphill, but levelling out somewhat, bringing space with it.
And the poems which have been flowing very easily out of my pencil of late offer a formulation to what has been taking place. Here is tonight's ...

Are You Sure? 
Hello, Doubt, my old friend,
What have you to say to me today?
What poisonous words will you tip into my ear?
Have you come to tell me I am no good at this,
and will never finish it, because I am not capable?
Have you brought along your friends,
Procrastination and Distraction,
with a tempting array of delights to place before me?
And is that Boredom that I see, trailing along behind,
suggesting that anything would be better
than concentrating on this task before me?
Do you feel bolstered up by their presence?
Your little army, to reinforce your statements?
Are you sure, Doubt, are you sure?

Are you certain they will back you up,
be there through thick and thin and
when the going gets rough?
Can you guarantee they will be at your shoulder
to confirm what you have to say?
Do I see a nervous flicker in your eyes,
A sly glance backwards to ensure they are still present?
Is Doubt itself having doubts?
What a hilarious thought!
I laugh out loud at your predicament.
Doubt has turned on itself, and no longer has
the swagger and self-confident poise that first appeared.
Are you sure, Doubt, are you sure?

Oh Doubt,
Where are you?

© 6 July 2012

Are you sure? audio

1 comment:

  1. Lauri this is lovely you should share it with the group, what a great idea doubt having doubts!

    I hope your doubts have abated too.