Saturday, 30 July 2016

Last night I dreamt

Last night I dreamt a strange and wonderful dream. I dreamt I was born a baby, innocent and helpless. I was born into a family who kept trying to tell me I was theirs, but in my heart of hearts I knew I didn't belong; this was not my home. I waited with eager anticipation for the day they would reveal the contents of this secret to me. Yet the day never came! They never unfolded the secret that I knew. As days and weeks, months and seasons turned I began to believe what they told me, that I belonged here, here was my family, my home. And as I believed, I lived with them through the hopes and fears, dreams and disappointments that seemed to be part of the package. Together we celebrated new life and mourned the passing of life into death, which seemed strange and contrary to me. I lived this life with them but I never fully believed the stories that they spun. As weeks and months, seasons and years turned their insistent voices that we were a family grew louder and the secret voice inside my heart grew faint.
One day I met someone who confirmed everything I knew in my heart. They spoke with a voice I understood and recognised. They told me, this so-called life is a dream, a play in which we are called to play our part extremely well, make it so believable yet never forget to remove the costume, wig and make-up backstage. This play is full of dramas, comedies, histories and tragedies, yet none of it is real, none of it is true.
And my heart was satisfied until one day a question came to mind - if this life is not real, not true, what is? I fervently searched for an answer. I looked in books, I enquired with everyone I met, but often they responded with a look of puzzled confusion. I scoured buildings and towns trying to find an answer that would satisfy the yearning in my heart.
Finally I met someone who said - you will never find the answer by searching in this way. Be still! Stop looking! Be silent! Let the answer find you! So I sat and listened. I heard the wind whisper in the trees, I heard the stars sparkle in the night-time sky, I heard the snowflakes as they fell, I heard the birds singing freely in the open sky, I heard families and friends calling jovially to one another. Through it all I heard a sound of oneness. I knew this silence in my heart, when all external activity ceases, was where I belonged, was what I could truly call home. And now I was completely satisfied and I woke up with a smile on my face and a deep contentment in my heart, utterly free.

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